You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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