I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
