so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
