this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
True strength comes from lack of pants
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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