We won't sleep together?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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