some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize