Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
