scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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