How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
