Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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