he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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