You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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