who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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