You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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