is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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