it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
