no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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