smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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