Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
