You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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