Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
