the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
