I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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