why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
