no, he came in my armpit
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
