He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
