Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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