allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
