I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
