he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
