I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
