Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
