whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
