I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
