Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
