Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
