he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
