i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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