What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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