i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
