God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize