You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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