Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
