I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
