I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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