Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drunk is not a location!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
