She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
