I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
