I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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