i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize