Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
