Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
