OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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