walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize