that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
