I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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