Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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