There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
