I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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