I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize