Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize