I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
