how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
