super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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