Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
