My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
