Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
