drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
