I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
