life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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