I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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