I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
