The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
