remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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