it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize