the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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