only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
