my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
