he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize