It was confusing and full of hummus
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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