i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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