I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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