I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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