they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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