dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
