It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
