my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
two words...techno handjob
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
